I feel so gross right now ;_; My stomach hurts so the gym is no. It’s the kind of night where my progress pictures don’t look so different and I’m feeling like I just want to go to bed or something. Ugh.

I wish I could control myself better. I don’t think I went over even 1400 calories tonight, but I keep messing up my 1200 calorie goal and I’ve really gotten lazy about my cardio. I still go to ballet two times a week and have a one hour bootcamp class once each week, but personally I feel like I’m going nowhere. I wish I had a fitness partner or someone down here who would hold me accountable. I’m so sick of being in an environment where my friends expect me to eat all the shitty candy/processed food/pizza they have. I usually end up eating because I’m watching TV and I just keep picking up pieces of candy or something. I hate it and I wish my fiance was more strict about that with me. He’s so nice to me all the time so I know it would be hard for him to tell me to stop, but I want him to. He also used to go to the gym with me in the morning but we’ve both gotten lazy, and without that extra support setting the alarm to get to the gym early is useless. I just go back to sleep and wish I’d done it later. Ugh. I’m so disappointed in myself. 

I think from now on any time someone brings over bad food (cookies, candy, basically unhealthy snacks) I’m going to throw it away pretty soon after they leave if they don’t take it with them. My willpower isn’t strong enough when it comes to resisting sweet things T_T

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh